I’ve had a shitty couple of days with The Booger Boy. He’s been an absolute rotter and I feel like I’ve been constantly yelling, which I hate. I’m not being the parent I usually am and I’m hating it.
I don’t know how in the hell I will be able to handle this baby if I can’t handle just TBB. Who do I think I am? What do I think I’m doing? How much am I going to screw these kids up?
I’m scared. This new baby is a total stranger. I always thought our 2nd child would have the same donor as our 1st, and would be similar, but of course I’ve never even MET this kid’s donor, and we’ve never had a child from my genes before. What if I fuck it up?
How could this next kid be as cute and smart as TBB? What if it’s ugly? Or stupid? What if something is REALLY wrong, like the kidney thing? What if I can’t love this baby like I do TBB?
I am so scared and worried and at the same time I feel like an asshole.
May 20, 2008 at 9:46 am
All parents fuck up – the game is to try not to fuck up too badly, too often. The fact that you even raise is as a concern is a good indicator that you’ll do a grand job. And in your defence, it’s not surprising you’re not the parent you usually are at the moment – you’re heavily pregnant and scared.
I have no doubt that you’ll handle everything brilliantly – you have handled so much thus far.
May 20, 2008 at 11:36 pm
Came in to lend some support… and have found that Vee has already summed it up beautifully! Exactly what I was going to say.
Mate, expect to fuck up. And just remember, even “the perfect” ones do too (they’re just more canny, and not being real, by not admitting it). Oh and also the ones who were desperate to do ANYTHING to have a baby (I’m in this category) and then go around scolding themselves senseless some days for being angry and yelling at the very person they waited so long and tried so hard to coax into their lives. They’re all fuckups too
xx
May 21, 2008 at 6:17 am
You’ve got my vote. I think you’ll be an awesome mom to this little one.
May 21, 2008 at 8:53 pm
1. Parents, even excellent ones, are bound to fuck something up.
2. Kids are surprisingly resilient to parental fuck-ups, especially the ones that occur when said parent is under dire and unusual circumstances, as you are now.
3. Having a parental fuck-up is not what makes kids have issues- it’s how the parents handle the fuck-ups that does.
4. Anyone who is already wondering about such things is well on her way to being a good parent. You already are one to TBB, so you will be to the child you carry as well.
What you worry about are things that 2nd timers (and on and on) worry about, no matter how that child came to be. You don’t sound like an asshole to me. Just a normal (non-fuckup) mom.
May 22, 2008 at 11:30 pm
You will cope because this baby is such a loved and wanted baby. it will just happen.
Dont panic about stuffing things up. All parents stuff their kids up! its your right after 9 months of being pg. The fact you had to try hard to get bub means you have the right to stuff bub up a little bit more!
Ok seriously, I love over the road from 5 government houses. in a couple of these houses are some VERY scary parents. You know what though, the kids are just lovely. They often come over if Im out the front with our dog and for a group of children raised by parents who shouldnt be aloud to have a pet mouse let alone breed they are all doing very well. So I am sure you will all be fine.
Huge hugs
xxx